That Time I Traveled Back In Time To Stop Kanye From Meeting Donald Trump.
“Rain Drop?” said Kim, the lead elder as she used an eyedropper to squeeze out a single drop of water onto the hall floor. “Drop Top,” the entire council and those gathering for the meeting said in unison as they dropped the hoods from their robes revealing their faces. “Let us get to it. The machine is almost prepared, it is almost time for us to save the future from itself,” said Kim as she sat down on her throne made of Silicone. This was a long time coming for the remaining people of Earth. The year is 2045 and humanity is all but lost. People live in caves now as the surface of the earth is much too hot. Technology became too advanced and the people became too lazy. They no longer had to think for themselves or even wipe themselves. In turn, the more they allowed the machines to do, the less they discovered and remembered how to do for themselves. The elder council has spent years figuring out a way to correct the mistakes of the past. The council itself is made up of the smartest human beings left among us. All scientists and scholars, running the colony of people as it should be. In their infinite wisdom, they pinpointed the date where it all went to shit. The day the world decided it was OK to be stupid, loud and wrong. The day that up was down and down didn’t matter. Where you no longer needed to actually know how to do anything other than open your fat mouth in order to run entire nations. That day, known as KT2 or Kanye Trump Squared is December 14, 2016. On this grave day, the two men who would plot to ruin the world met face to face for the first time.
“We don’t need to tell you how important this is, do we Travis?” said Kylie another elder who was alive before the collapse of civilization. She was just a teen then and if you saw pictures of her in 2016, you wouldn’t know it was the same person. She’s known as Cat now, for her cat-like features, big pouty lips, high cheeks and slanted eyes that can barely see. After years of surgery, it finally caught up with her. It may have broken her on the outside, but on the inside, she was strong as ever. “We need you to do this for everyone’s sake Travis. Stop my brother from meeting that man of who we do not speak” said Kylie after which she let out a purr. “I know. It is a great honor to even be considered for this. I hope to do my wife and child proud. I hope that when I come back, the world will be a better place.” said Travis. “We trust you,” said Bruce who was Bruce before, and then Caitlyn and now after everyone died, is back to Bruce again. “Stop my son. It’s the only way” he said. “Do you have everything that you need?” said Kim. “Yes, and I know what must be done. When I arrive back it will be the exact date but 15 minutes before Kanye arrives at ‘his’ tower. After that, I need to put on the clothes that you have provided for me. It’s hard to believe people actually wore this shit back then. How did a man move or run with jeans so skinny? Why is this coat so heavy, will I not burn up in the atmosphere?” Travis asked. “No, in 2016, winter existed,” said Kylie. “Winter?” said Travis. “You’ll see,” said Bruce. “I put on the clothes, I get into what is called an elevator and I press the 1 button. I meet him just before he gets inside of the building and-”. “That’s important, he must never enter the building his Yeezy’s must never touch the marble floor,” said Kim. “And then I escort him back to his car, explain how he is a genius. Ask him how does it feel to be the voice of all generations, at which time he’ll forget who he was even there to meet. I take him to a back alley and I beat the shit out of him. I take his possessions to make it seem like a robbery and then I..I..” said Travis. “KILL HIM.,” said Kim. “I kill him. But won’t they ask questions?” said Travis. “No, it will be blamed on 2016,” said Kylie. “Are you sure you’re up for it?” said Bruce. “Yea, I got this. No one man should have all that power,” said Travis. “The clock’s ticking you leave in an hour Travis,” said Kim.
“I’m so proud of you,” said Marcy, the woman who Travis wanted to spend the rest of his life with. “You are the best thing to ever happen to me. I want to continue our project, Marcy” said Travis. “We will, you just go and do your duty and we will,” said Marcy. He gave her a hug and a kiss to remember him by. Took a look at his dwelling and sighed as he closed the door. He marched to the chambers in his robe and slides and began to think about what he had to do. He questioned himself internally. ‘Will I be able to go through with it? I mean I am meeting King Yeezus the 1st. If he says some of his historical lines on me and I’m enchanted and a changed man as the scrolls say I will be if I encounter him?’ In the room with him was chief scientist Kim. Sensing the doubt she sought to put all of his fears at ease. “He’s just a man,” said Kim. “He is funny, he is bright, he is spiritual. He is understanding and quite possibly one of the best men on the planet but he is just a man” she said. “How would you know?” said Travis. “Forgive me Kim I didn’t mean to sa-” “He was my husband,” Kim said interrupting Travis.
Shaken by what he heard he staggered to catch his balance. “Now do you see why I know this day is so important? This is the day that I lost him to his madness. We had 2 children together. We were happy. He had his 1st episode and I was by his side in the hospital every day. After this, he never went back and neither did the world. He helped shape the world just not in the way that any of us could have ever imagined. That night, he wrote the greatest song in the world. It was about 2016, all that we lost, all that happened and all that was to come. It became a religion. Fashion changed, the people changed, everything changed. He ran for president in 2020, he won and he declared himself King-Emperor of all the dope shit. A title he would never relinquish. He went to war with Italy for not hailing him as a fashion Icon. He bombed Paris when they kicked the niggas out. He replaced the statue of liberty with flashing lights. And that was in his first 100 days.” said Kim. “But, how? How did you get through it, how did you make it out alive?” said Travis. “That I do not know. I lost my children. I lost my mother. I lost my sisters and brother. I lost my mom, he became my dad again. Kanye’s denial and refusal to accept reality, doomed the entire world. All he wanted was more hot shit, until all we got was, more hot shit. Mother earth had enough and..it’s just too much for me to explain, but, now you see why. Now you truly understand.” said Kim. “I do. I won’t let you down. I won’t let the world down.” said Travis. “2016 is a cruel and unusual place. People notice everything about everyone. There are cameras everywhere and people watching you. If you can’t make it, do not get out of the elevator I beg you.” said Kim. “Why not?” said Travis, perplexed. “If you make it out of the elevator even a moment too late and realize you have failed, they will meme you,” said Kim. “Meme? Is it painful? “ said Travis. “It is the most painful thing ever because it never goes away. You will never live it down. You will never escape a meme. It doesn’t get old it gets saved in the archives of the internet forever and ever.” said Kim. “I understand. If I’m late I won’t get off” Travis said as he climbed into the time machine which resembled an LG smart washing machine. He closed the lid and Kim set it to delicate wash and the ground began to tremble. The floor disappeared under him and he was off. Gone into the cosmic fabrics of the time. It was all a blur to him. Just a violent blur that shook him to his core. It landed in a laundry room perfectly placed right next to a dryer with the same inscription that was foreign to Travis. He quickly got his balance and changed into the clothes that he traveled with, discarding his tattered clothes in the washing machine behind him. He rushed out to the elevator, his heart racing he pressed the button. According to the calculations he had plenty of time to make it down to the front of the building and intercept Kanye before he got inside. On the way down he kept thinking about The Marcy Project. He kept thinking about how life must have been for Kim. He kept wondering if it will work. Will he be able to resist praising king Yeezus once he’s in his presence. So many thoughts cluttering his mind surrounding one central focus. Stop Kanye West. 3,2,1 ding! Finally, this was the moment of truth. The door opened slowly, as he began to step out on his glorious journey to save all of mankind he looked and.
It was too late.
